help?
Open links in new window
Feedback?...
Movies I Wanna See! (UPDATED! Recently!)
LINKS AHOY!
SEARCH THE NET
MISC. KNOWLEDGE
G33KY 5+UFF
MISCELLANOUS
UMBC:
Homepage
Want your link here? All you have to do is
ask...
DVD/FILM 
![[Blue Ribbon Campaign- STOP CENSORSHIP!]](http://br.eff.org/brstrip.gif){kind=small}
Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign!
Friday, August 30, 2002
Well, my first semi-week of school is over. I'm overall fairly happy with how my classes seem to be playing out- I'll definitely be kept busy, and on the other hand hopefully not overwhelmed by it all. I'm also quite pleased that my first review got published and I actually have a job as a writer- yay! Too bad the website's not been updated for this week's feature articles; as soon as it is, I'll provide the link.
Maybe more from me over the weekend- it's a three-day holiday, you know. I sort of wish I could save up this off day for a time later in the semester when I'm just swamped and need some rest. It's unfortunate life's not like Monopoly; those "get out of jail free" cards could really come in handy...
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
Commence countdown… t-minus 13 hours until first class.
I'm a ball of nerves right now. I'm frantically trying to mentally prepare myself for this semester at UMBC. (Mostly by veging out on the couch playing video games and reading junk.)
I'm gonna try to relax until bedtime. I might even watch American Idol for the first time. Anything to calm my nerves.
This might be the last post for a while. I promise I'll link to any articles I write for TRW though. See ya.
Monday, August 26, 2002
This is the end...
Summer vacation is coming to an abrupt close. I thought it would be good to compile all of the Ocean City postings into one long page, chronological and with pictures. So here it is,
The Ocean City Saga 2002
Aaahh... memories.
Tried to get all my books for school today, but was not entirely successful. One optional book (recommended for Math115), and five Shakespeare plays for ENGL 250H were yet to arrive. All told, I bought 5 books today, and became $327 poorer as a result. That's 65 smackers a book, for you IRS types hoping to keep track of my millions. Right. ;-)
I've been frantically trying to beat Stuntman, which I have to return tomorrow. It's probably in my best interests that the game has to go back; I don't know if I could stand all the frustration that game emenates.
And this is very cool: I just realized this site is now found in google. Search for "swiley" and you get me! Totally tubular!
Saturday, August 24, 2002
Did I write that stuff I wrote yesterday? I know, that sound slightly cracked, but that's the way things feel, already slowing down as school is closing in fast.
I wrote my first piece for the newspaper today, a review of Simone. I'll post it here when it gets published, if I made the deadline, of which I have doubts. So if I didn't, I'll post it here anyway. How's that for cool?
And how's this for "ouch!":
Fax.com hit with $2.2 trillion lawsuitsA Silicon Valley entrepreneur and a nonprofit advocacy group Thursday filed twin lawsuits against Aliso Viejo-based Fax.com, each seeking class-action status and $2.2 trillion, alleging violations of a federal ban against unsolicited fax ads.
...
The federal law allows damages of $500 for each unwanted fax, plus triple damages. Assuming 3 million faxes a day -- the capacity cited on Fax.com's Web site -- that works out to $2.2 trillion a year. "I'd be very happy if we just got $100 billion," Kirsch said.
That's TRILLION with a T, folks.That's a big ol' chunk o' change. Love that last quote by Kirsch there. Hehehehe. Heck, I'd settle for a measly 1 Billion. You might even talk me down to a few million. :-D
Friday, August 23, 2002
Nothing really newsworthy at the baseball game last night. My brothers got two balls, the Keys lost, and we watched fireworks. I've been to more baseball games this summer than I had in the last two combined. I've also seen 3 fireworks displays, compared to just one each for the last two years.
As if you needed to know that.
I feel spoiled. It's a good feeling, but just a bit bittersweet. I mean, I know there are tons of people who never get the opportunity to see a ballgame, minor league or otherwise. But that's just me again, constantly fretting over things I can't control. Neurotic might be the word, but I'm worried if I look it up in the dictionary I'll be proved wrong! ;-)
You've gotta be kidding.
NASA plans to read terrorist's minds at airportsSpace technology would be adapted to receive and analyze brain-wave and heartbeat patterns, then feed that data into computerized programs "to detect passengers who potentially might pose a threat,"...
Huh? Umm. No... I did not just read that. *squints* Are they serious? This isn't April 1st, so... I dunno, but this wacky stuff is getting out of hand.
3 Words: Fun for nerds.
Does anyone else consider it odd that Volvo's logo is the same as the male symbol?
I decided to do a quick google search, which led me to everything2.com, a site I had visited before, but had never previously found much use for. A wonderful thing, the Internet is. It opens up new ways of looking at things, new ways to find out knowledge. Bravo, Internet2!
Yay! I've been published, sort of.
Members of the UMBC community discuss favorite reads from the summer
My three picks are second to last. Ain't that cool?
I got a hit yesterday from the High Performance Computing Modernization Program (HPCMP), part of the Department of Defense (DoD). Hey guys. Just wanted to let all you fine men and women know that I am Not A Terrorist (NAT), OK? Just trying to help out here. I know ya'll have a busy job so just keep browsing the web, not minding anything you find here. Nope, it's all good, clean, American fun!
Thursday, August 22, 2002
Everything is getting so much shorter as we plow through the month of August. The days, to quote C&H, "are just packed!" They just go by so fast, it's incredible. I mean, one day, you've got a few weeks of vacation left and on what seems like the next, you've got to go back to school in less than a week. It's nuts! Once you return to classes things slow down right away; the pace doesn't pick back up for another few weeks into the semester. Then you've got the next big break around the corner and you're just hoping that finals aren't too hard, but even if they are, you simply want to get this over with! Then the next vacation begins, the days seem to last about as long as a candle's flame in an oxygen-sealed room, and the cycle continues. Before long, I'll have graduated. How depressing!
In this, the last full week of summer for me, I decided to rent two games from Blockbuster for PS2. The first, Mat Hoffman Pro BMX 2, I won't even discuss; I leave that X-treme Sports stuff to my brothers, as long as they pay me their $hare for the rental fee.
The other, Stuntman, is practically impossible from the very first stage. Darned if this isn't the most challenging game I've ever played. You get yelled at by the "director" of the films you're working on, and you have to get every little thing exactly right while trying to pull some insane stunts for the "camera." On the positive side, I'd say this concept, if not the execution of it, is maybe the epitome of what a modern, next-generation game should be: it's big, it's bold, it has realistic physics and at the same time there's an air of irreverence in the game's dynamic. OK, I'm not sure what I just said. The bottom line: rent this game if you have (a) an uncontrollable desire to drive around at 100 mph and jump over roofs and stuff, (b) a love for creating your own game world in which you can smash redneckity cars a million different ways (in the Stunt Constructor), and (c) the patience of a saint and the hand/finger stability of a heart surgeon. You tell yourself, "That's IT! Forget that stupid game, it's TOO HARD!!!!" But you always come back for more, the mark of a fun, though somewhat flawed game. Just don't blame me when you're pulling your hair out in frustration.
And finally, from the "Absurd Laws" Department:
French Mayor Bans Residents from DyingLE LAVANDOU, France (Reuters) - The mayor of a French Mediterranean town, faced with a cemetery "full to bursting," has banned local residents from dying until he can find somewhere else to bury them.
OK then. Uhhh-huuuuhhhh. So then what's the punishment for lawbreakers? The life penalty? C'est fou!
I'm going to the rescheduled Fredneck Keys game tonight. I hope to update again soon. See ya.
Tuesday, August 20, 2002
Back to school week! Part Deux!
Well, I don't know how to break it to ya.
What, are you quitting the site?
No, definitely not. And I don't like that anxious tone of voice!
Sorry... we like the site, honest! Anyway... we give up, tell us!
Let's say I have good news and bad news.
Hit us with the bad stuff first.
OK. Well, there comes a time in a blogger's life that he actually has to start doing other things.
Like what?
Well, you know, like school and stuff.
Oh...
So that means that I won't be able to devote as much time to the blog anymore.
So what's the bad news? ;-)
Hey!!!! Knock it off! I put a lot of effort into this site, so quit mocking me!
If you say so...
So the good news is that I may be writing for the school newspaper, The Retriever Weekly.
Yeah, so? What does that have to do with anything?
Well, whatever I write, I'll link to for all the net to see. That translates to some good reading material for you and a job for me!
Zzzzzzzzzzz...
OK, I've had a enough of your sarcasm! No buzz off, before I smack you around like a redheaded stepchild!*
*No harm is meant to a any redheaded stepchildren, or stepchildren of any other hair color, for that matter. This phrase was invented for snarky writers like me to throw around, and doesn't really mean anything. That my story and I'm sticking to it!
Back to school week!
Sorry I missed a day's post. But I have been busy, cooking a few goodies up. No MSG!
First, a few links:
I didn't know that ninjas were so cool, or so Internet-savvy!Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.
Isn't that like SO AWESOME?!?>!?!?!?!? Here's the link:
[WARNING! WARNING! TURN DOWN SPEAKERS BEFORE CLICKING (unless you like rap midis)]
realultimatepower.net
I need to get me one of those excellent t-shirts, d00d!
Right-o! LOL :-)
In related news, I wasn't aware of Julius Caesar's net presence:Even after this last victory, I suspect there will be more uprisings soon, so I'm having three of my generals raise more troops. I've also asked Pompey to assemble the Northern Italian recruits I was promised some time back.
Posted by Julius Caesar at 04:19 PM
Good luck, J.C.! (Or can I call you Jules?) Smash a few heads for me, will ya?!
Sunday, August 18, 2002
Citizens for a Petition-Free America, UNITE!
I just put the finishing touches on my latest travesty, A Petition to End All Petitions. If you've ever been taken aback by the zeal that the writers of these munificent, but I think somewhat out-of-touch appeals for change and/or legislation, you'll probably get a kick out of it. And sign it, for the sake of the children!!!
I just hope PetitionOnline isn't too angry with me. No, I take that back; I hope the petition gets really popular, but makes PO a little, well… PO'd, causing them to take down the page, allowing me to do some great self-promotion as an upholder of free speech, as ironic as that sounds, if you've read the petition. I guy can dream, can't he?
I replaced the poll, which evidently wasn't much of a success. Only 3 votes. :-(
Democracy's biggest enemy is apathy, I should say. Oh well.
I went to the O's game yesterday, for what is I'm sure the last game I'll see this season (maybe ever… if greed gets in the way of the game.) Some noteworthy incidents, though regrettably no drunks directing traffic:
We pull into the parking garage at 4:58, because the lots are already full. I'm charged $5 as I pull up to the window, after which I have to find a parking spot. As we walk out of the building, the ticket giver calls over to me, "Did I just give you a ticket for 5 dollars? It's 6; gimme one more, d'you need change?"
You're kidding, right?
"I forgot, it's $6 for Oriole games."
Well, you just told me $5.
The board to the side says, "$5 Oriole Games (After 5 O'Clock.)" I point this fact out to the kind lady… *ahem*.
"That's only for weekdays."
Uh-huh, sure. Nowhere on the board does it say that. OK, I hate to admit it, but I'm such a spineless bootlicker that I finally relent and give her that oh-so-important last greenback. Never, never, never should you be asked to shell out more for something you've already paid for. The customer, it seems, is rarely right anymore.
So after that embarrassing interlude, we walk the half-dozen blocks to Camden Yards, shag fly balls for the next hour and a half, then make our way to the seats. I forgot what I was going to say here. The game was… not bad. The home team won, convincingly, I'd say…
Oh yes… I decided to get a little something to wet my whistle after a few hard innings of cheering. The line was long, but definitely worth it for a refreshing Sprite. Or so I thought. So after waiting about 10 or 15 minutes to get a nice soft drink, I am utterly, absolutely disappointed, because instead of Sprite, the bubbly liquid inside the cup happens to be seltzer water.
For most people under normal circumstances, this is no big deal. But you don't understand; this is me, the one who's too timid to stand up to the parking witch when she demands another dollar. But to make matters almost unbearable, the guy manning the soda fountain is deaf. Don't you just love it?
So I work up the nerve to tell the guy I need another Sprite, which is kind of hard to do when the person you're trying to communicate with usually responds to hands pointing to the merchandise being requesting, AND with 20 or so hungry, thirsty fans wondering why in Cal's holy name this whippersnapper thinks he's allowed to butt ahead in line and badger the poor hearing-impaired gentleman. Stuff like this makes you glad to be alive, doesn't it?
I came through it all just fine. I have to agree with people who think that sometime life seems like a test, with lots of extra credit thrown in for those lucky few.
Saturday, August 17, 2002
Well, it took a little longer than I had expected, but my OC memoirs are finally completed. 4 weeks ago to this day, I returned home after a week of fun and frolicking under the sun...
"Coda" Saturday 7/20
This won't take long. Really.
Goodbye, Mr. Shark!
We go through the grand old ritual of clearing out all out stuff, loading up the cars, and checking out. Also one the decades-old itinerary was a final buffet breakfast at English's. Travelers, take note: go easy on both food and drink if you're on your* way home. I have many a bad memory of squirming in the car all the way home because I had eaten one too many pancakes, or had drunk just a bit too much OJ. Again, moderation is the key.
*Wow! I didn't screw up 'you're' and 'your.' I deserve the Pulitzer for that virtuoso feat of grammar.
We leave the lot at 10:00 and make just one stop (this too a tradition) at Elmer's produce market. If you can grow it in the ground, I think they've got it. I love the listing of products for sale on the webpage: ...tomatoes, turnips, watermelons. Other: Candy, cemetary decorations, crafts, light houses, tools, Indian relics, and shrubs. You know you're a redneck if... you buy your headstones the same place you buy your rutabagas. Just my opinion...
Normally I buy one of those antique-style (i.e., haven't been widely produced for 30 years or so) glass bottles of Coke. But there are plenty of fluids already in me, and I have no need to test the limits of the human bladder, thank you very much.
I drive the rest of the way back, all 120+ miles of it. Traffic is light, except for the mile and a half before the bay bridge. Before long, we've reached El Kridge, and we quickly unpack everything we brought with us. Another vacation slips into the memory banks.
Friday, August 16, 2002
Now it's time for a movie review with my brother Jordan. Say hi to everybody, Jordan.
"No!"
OK, I see someone woke up on the wrong side of the cave this morning. Anyway, he's here to tell us about Vin Diesel's latest cinematic achievement, XXX. Jordan, take it away!
XXX
5 out of 5 stars!
Vin Diesel was awesome!
The best movie I have ever seen!
2 thumbs way up!
Tight cars man!
Vin's chain and tattoos are phat!
The tamales are hotter than fire!
Really good picture and sound!
The soundtrack is real good!
If you like axxxion, then get your @$$ to the movie theater!
It's all gravy!
Right. Ahem,... I'll let you all have as much time as you need to decipher that mix of homeboy slang and sycophantic glurging. Peace out.
Happy 25th death day to Elvis Aaron Presley (1935-1977[?]).
Does anyone know how he really liked his sandwiches? I've always heard it was fried with peanut butter and banana, but at an Honors college lecture last semester the Elvisologist added mayonnaise (!) to the mix. And in my Nightline daily newsletter, they nix the mayo, but add bacon and honey. Hunka burnin' love indeed!
More like hunka, hunka heart attack...
Speaking of ABCNews.com, ya gotta love the headline, "Sneaky French Ravers", which, to quote the eminent Dave Barry, would make a great name for a band.
Take it easy.
Thursday, August 15, 2002
Almost there... I lost track of what number we're at in the OC story.
"And Now for Something Completely Different…," or, "There and Back Again" Friday 7/19
Yet another misty, musty morning. The waves, at first, are slightly improved from those of the last two days (couldn't be much worse), but are really no great shakes. It's extremely foggy, like something out of Vertigo, except Kim Novak is nowhere to be seen. I venture out from the coast, knowing it's my last day, wondering if I should've stayed back in the trailer. Before long, the sky clears a bit and the waves begin to grow. While not great for boarding, these powerful walls of water make for a fun few hours at the beach. Probably the best of the whole week.
Time for a bit of a change of pace. Finally, I get to dine in a restaurant that, at least for its namesake, is the go-to spot for any geek worth his salt. The Hobbit is, perhaps surprisingly, a fairly fancy place with an absolutely wonderful view of the bay.
Forget your fanboyish fantasies of what this restaurant would be like: no maitre d' dressed as Gandalf or salt and pepper shakers made out of D & D dice. No, this is what you might call a "respectable joint." You'll most likely want to dress up just a little classier than your "straight from the beach to the diner" wardrobe. But I came in wearing a t-shirt and didn't get kicked out (or get turned into an orc, for that matter.)
The menu is also of a much higher caliber than that of many other eateries (you could tell that from the prices alone; early bird is from 5:00 to 6:00 for the frugal.) Bread, salad, and two veggies are served to all; these made good appetizers and side dishes, respectively, for my New York Strip steak. Ohhhh… the steak! It was…what's that word snooty food reviewers always like to us?... succulent! Mouthwateringly scrumptious is another way to put it. Too stuffed for dessert, we checked out the gift shop for some Tolkien-inspired tchotchkes. A got a very cool t-shirt. And we went back to out little hobbit hole for one more night.
I deleted that lame-o DHTML title I put up for the big update and replaced it with the much nicer double GIF you see up top. I created it at CoolArchive.com, so why don't you pay them a visit and mention how much you appreciate their hard work?
Ooooops, I said "pay." Maybe I should mention that Cool Archive is a totally free site. No registration, no nothin'. Just easy-to-make web components, i.e., good for those who are Photoshop-impaired or allergic to excess dosages of HTML. ;-)
An interesting story on the Reuters wire today:
Sept. 11 Victims Sue Al Qaeda Financiers
There's a quote by a Matthew Sellitto, father of a victim:"The terrorists were wrong, but the people who aided and abetted and allowed them to do this are more wrong."
Waaaaiiiit a second. How's that again? So the people who actually perpetrated the crime are somehow less evil than those who contributed to their actions? I'm not sure I follow there at all. Of course, these types of statements are made in the heat of the moment, I suppose, so we shouldn't try to analyze them with much scrutiny.
But hey, I'm all for the plaintiffs getting as much money as possible from these bottomfeeding hatemongers, whom we routinely call "friends" and "strategic partners," etc. I think the Libyan government had to pay up when that Pan Am flight was taken down by terrorists in the 80's. If it can be proven beyond a doubt that these supposedly charitable organizations were involved in the killing of thousands of innocent people, I say clean 'em out of all they're worth. On the other hand, we really have to be careful not to overstep the bounds of justice, and cast aspersions at anyone or any group that had no hand in last year's atrocity.
That's my take for now. Maybe more OC stuff later tonight.
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Surprise, surprise. Once again, the main course for today is another chapter in the intriguing OC Saga. Roll 'em!
"Endless Bummer," or, "Frank Herbert's 'Dune Fries'" Thursday, 7/18
The morning is gray and muggy and dull. Yesterday's little ripples were tsunamis compared to the pathetic excuses for waves tumbling in today. I try to play a little sandball (that is, baseball in the sand) with my bros, but it's too stinkin' humid and nasty out. This morning can't end soon enough. At least my allergy medication is working. (I always look on the bright side of things. *shrug*)
Pitiful, ain't it?
For dinner, we go to one of my favorite restaurants, The Cottage Cafe. There are two locations, and this year we're trying out the one in Delaware, for the first time. The other's in Maryland, but just barely- I think the parking lot is in Delaware and the actual dining area and bar are in MD, so you have to pay sales tax.
I really like the vibe at this place: cool, but not overly hip or, alternatively, restrictively geriatric. For starters, we order possibly the most unhealthful* food ever devised by mankind: "Dune Fries." Fortunately, they're also among the tastiest. The fries are piled high, topped with melted cheese 'n' bacon, served with ranch dressing for dipping. Geez… who needs Dr. Kevorkian when you can just munch on a few plates of these and at least die happy**?
*Not "unhealthy," something I was taught long ago and now know to avoid as a descriptor of food, natch.
**The casket may have to be double-wide, as a side effect.
So, after a lovely salad and a few mini-muffins (not to mention enough fries to choke an orca), my main course arrives: parmesan chicken, as served by the very hospitable waitress. Wow. I can hardly finish half, for my stomach has by now entered Defcon 2. Dessert was out of the question at this point. Only quibble: the breadsticks that came with it were a mite stale. Deduct half a point if you're scoring at home.
In closing, visit the cottage, either on 146th St. in OC or their Delaware locale a few miles north. With their amazing cooking and friendly service, you'll be glad you did! Even the prices are quite decent. Just don't be surprised when you go home with a doggy bag!
A few links to share, before today's main attraction.
First, it's Pirated Sites. This doesn't need much of a description from me. I just suggest that you go and gawk at the audacity some "designers" have in "borrowing" a few features from other sites. Really great stuff! Actually, one of the reasons I did the minor overhaul (if that's not a contradiction) with this blog is that way too many other pages were using the old template. Definitely not piracy, but doubtless an impetus to change a few things.
Next, I must give major props to Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg, my favorite contributor to The Brunching Shuttlecocks (see that little link over on the left?). He's enormously talented and not only that, but his output of excellent writing is amazingly prolific, for lack of a better term. I could read his stuff for hours, never ceasing to be amused.
Finally, an article that states plainly what all non-brainwashed-by-the-RIAA net users know: the downturn in the music industry, in terms of sales (if not quality of tunage), has nothing to do with mp3 downloaders!Based on surveys of 1,000 U.S. online consumers, Forrester said it sees no evidence of decreased CD buying among frequent digital music consumers and said the record labels could restore industry growth by making it easier for people to find, copy, and pay for music on their own terms.
If movies were slumping, H-Wood would be singing the exact same tune, but they're not, so they won't complain and will keep jacking up prices until people stop going to flicks. Then they will say that h4x0rs and warez hounds are to blame, and America should be ashamed of itself for not locking up who has a cable modem and types in "spiderman" into his or her copy of Kazaa, out of curiosity.
Stealing is stealing, I guess. I wouldn't appreciate it if millions of geeks were bootlegging my entire record before it even came out (not that I've recorded one, but who knows...). But the music industry, fighting a losing battle, is getting hysterical in its calls (I should say, its "Congressional puppet's calls") for legislation essentially banning computers, CD burners, etc. when it should be looking for ways to promote their "artists" through new media. Stop whining, you'll get over it, just like you did with audiotapes and the movie companies did with VCRs.
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
Just as an experiment, I did a very silly thing. Not the new site design; that I hope you'll get used to.
I signed up on two of those link exchange sites. You know the ones that promise "100 Guaranteed Hits Free!"? What a waste of time. You have to join up, surrender your email address ("No SPAM, we swear!"), then start surfing their links. When you view a page for 15 seconds, click "NEXT" and they shoot you on over to the next one, leaving a few pop-ups to load, and you get one credit. I think this means that for however many links you click, that's how many hits you'll receive. Does it work? Sure. Here's proof:
In the immortal words of Wayne and Garth, "SCHWING!"
So after seeing this, it got me thinking, "What's the point?" These are just worthless, dishonest hits. They didn't come to my site because they wanted to read anything or be amused.
Even the idea of those link exchanges is silly; it's like a big circle of greedy webmasters who look at each other's pages all day, oblivious to the outside world. It's as though the only ones who shop at a dairy market are dairy farmers. They sell a few gallons of milk in the morning, and buy the exact same thing later on that day. In fact, it seems the only pages on the link exchange are ads for other link exchange services. It's the very definition of incestuous absurdity, IMHO.
I'll stick with word of mouth and search engine listings, which incidentally should be coming soon. I submitted this site to dmoz.org, so that it can be found on google and elsewhere. I'm out, 'til later...
Monday, August 12, 2002
Something that makes you go, Hmmmm...
New Computer Security Dilemma: Lack of Viruses
The first half of 2002 has been an eerily quiet period for the computer experts on watch for worms and viruses, leaving some to trumpet their effectiveness even as their predictions of doom are now looking overblown
Kind of an odd way to title a story, isn't it? Most of the time there's an angle the writer wants to propagate. But here, I think they're just trying to be cautious. Vigilance is the key in the war against viri.
No, I'm not running for office this fall, no matter how politiciany that last statement sounds.
HOORAY!
I hope I haven't messed too much with a successful thing. I just wanted to make this site unique and have it reflect my personal choices of style and net surfing. I hope everyone else likes it. I'll put up a poll for my loyal readers to weigh in with their opinions. Make your thoughts known!
Today's the day...
In a little bit, this site's gonna look totally fresh, like nothing you've seen before. OK, that's a stretch, but suffice it to say that changes are a-coming.
Stay tuned. If it all works, I'll be very happy.
Sunday, August 11, 2002
Not too much to talk about right now, but I am working hard on the new site features. Trust me, it'll be smashing!
But right now, I'd like to have a brief dicussion about psychic powers. First off, let me say that I am the most skeptical person when it comes to the supernatural. I dismiss practically everything that has to do with "the world beyond out own" as pure bunk, idiotic and sometimes highly-calculated pap. All this is true for most of us, until it happens to you personally...
There are so many instances of things that come into my head, and later show up again in the real world. Case in point: coming home from the fair the other day, I noticed one of those roadside memorials for victims of a carcrash. Now, knowing the nature of most people to be rather nosy and easily distracted, it popped into my mind that, ironic as it may be, such tributes could actually contribute to accidents rather than serve as a cautionary symbol to prevent fatal car wrecks. So, much later that night (in fact, it was a little after 1:00 A.M.) I was listening to a radio show that I just about never listen to (that of Dr. Dean Edell), when the host read a news story that stated exactly my thoughts from earlier! Apparently some municipality somewhere had banned these highway shrines because they were hazardously distracting for drivers. Weird, eh? Sent a killer shiver down my spine, that's for sure.
These things happen at least every week, if not quite as dramatically as that last one. Another example is movie box-office weekend grosses. The funny thing with these is, I usually guess, on the nose, the estimated take that is announced on Sundays and corrected for the real results the next day. Two days ago someone asked what XXX would make over the weekend. I thought hard, considering Signs' $60 million pay-day last week, as well as the other new releases. I guessed 52, then corrected myself with a somewhat educated guess of 46 million bucks. You want to know what the initial estimates are for August 9-11? Click here. Tomorrow, they'll change it by a few million most likely.
So the obvious question for any psychic is, Why don't you use your powers to deduce the next winning lotto number, take your cash, and then leave us all alone? I cannot speak for the Miss Cleos of the world, but all I know is these 'things' just pop into your head almost at random. You don't notice anything unusual until later, when your prophetic vision comes to pass. Sometimes it's a song that's stuck in your head, and the next time you turn on the radio, Boom! Hits you like a ton of bricks. Well, maybe that's a little dramatic. These things happen, I'm told, to nearly everyone. But when someone tells you a story like I just did, don't dismiss it out of hand; weird things do happen in the mind. Remember, as the afore-mentioned lottery like to say...
It could happen to you!
Saturday, August 10, 2002
Just an excerpt from a funny article you just might enjoy. PJ always cracks me up.
The Upside of the Down Market
Corporate corruption has its advantages.
Suddenly our kids think we're hip. "Gangsta Rap" is very popular with today's teens, as is dressing in prison garb and acting and speaking as if one belonged to the Crips, the Bloods, or some other criminal organization. The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, "We be thugs." The GOP may capture the youth vote at last.
Corporate corruption is saving us money. However much we've lost on the NYSE and NASDAQ, we'll more than make it up in lower entertainment and redecorating costs when Martha Stewart goes to jail. Plus, corporate corruption is no necessary impediment to making money. If you can get your wife's cousin to short your stock the moment you're served with a subpoena.
Please, be considerate: read the whole thing. And tell 'em SWiley sent ya!
"Performed or Supervised by Trained Professionals" Wednesday, 7/17
The beach today is pretty humdrum, but no big complaints from me. No waves to speak of.
Yup. Nothing going on, as my bro can attest to.
To break through the boredom, my crazy brother and I (this sounds dorky, I realize) pretended to be stuntmen for a movie being shot on the beach: "National Lampoon's Ocean City Vacation," starring Johnny Knoxville (Jordan) and Steve-O (me); Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid have cameos. So we just jumped around like two drunken hooligans, doing some freestyle hardcore stunt work. OK, mostly we acted stupid and tried not to kill ourselves as we crashed through the surf, busting our necks and nearly shattering our spinal columns in the process. You know the drill: don't try this at home, kids. A little tennis after lunch, but I can hardly play, due to my virtual boxing bout last night, as well as the punktastic jackassery from earlier.
Warning! Rampant jackassery about to take place. Stay calm.
Tonight's dinner venue is the Dough Roller on 126th. Their cheese steak sub is not bad at all, if, in accordance with the rest of the menu, on the rather expensive side of things. Especially when you consider the Dough Roller for what it is: basically a slightly classier, more diversified Pizza Hut. But when you're not paying for it, it's all good.
-O.C. Special-
Because today's post was relatively short, I thought I'd make a list of the most ubiquitous chain restaurants and shops in Ocean City. Because everyone loves useless lists.
Sunsations- In the OC-Fenwick area, I counted 9 of these beachwear and -gear department stores. That averages out to about one store per 15 blocks. Some of them are gargantuan, taking up thousands of square feet of extremely pricy ocean-side real estate, which is odd, since there's always another one just a few minutes down the road.
Candy Kitchen- Ahh yes, that marvelous, almost-as-omnipresent-as-Sunsations kiddie magnet that's packed with highly-sweetened confections. We stopped going a few years back, since all you get is generic, bland, vanilla (is that three synonyms in a row?) ice cream topped with a ton of junk. That's what we got, I mean. Your milage may vary. Caution: Candy Kitchen locations contain massive quantities of fudge. Eater discretion advised.
Dough Roller- See notes in today's post. There's gotta be at least 5 or 6 of these. Their specialties are pancakes and pizza, as you might infer from the name.
Thrasher's (Boardwalk) Fries- Are these the same corporate entity?* I'm not sure. Either way, you'll find a potato-frying outlet quite easily in O.C., and it's not hard to find one up in these parts. One complaint everyone has after their first visit: there must be an edict posted somewhere at these places that reads, "Under Penalty of Death,** NO KETCHUP shall be served at any Thrasher's/Boardwalk Fries location!!!" How bizarre is that? They've got vinegar, salt, oils, and Old Bay, but absolutely none of that refined, sweetened tomato paste we've all come to associate with les pommes frites. They must have some beef with Heinz, Inc. or something.
*Apparently not, since Boardwalk Fries has one, but Thrasher's doesn't (but here's a review anyway.) I think Boardwalk is more of a rip-off of Thrasher's and has branched out all over the place, trying to get you to think of Thrasher's from their 'beachy', but that's just my opinion.
**By boiling peanut oil.
Friday, August 09, 2002
Well today was totally relaxing. It's what summer should be really.
This, however, is a little startling, if not at all surprising:
Ashcroft Asked to Target Online Song Swappers
U.S. lawmakers have asked Attorney General John Ashcroft to go after Internet users who download unauthorized songs and other copyrighted material, raising the possibility of jail time for digital-music fans.
Great idea! Let's sidetrack the FBI on another wild goose chase, so instead of tracking down child molesters and terrorists, they can get busy locking up MP3 downloaders. There's your tax dollars at work; money well spent.
I'm not being sarcastic at all!
Thursday, August 08, 2002
In preparation for the upcoming site redesigns (or additions, maybe) I straightened out the Archives, and made them monthly, rather than weekly, just FYI.
The fair was OK, "fair" you might say if you want to venture a pun. But more importantly, there's a new Ocean City update, double-sized for your reading pleasure. So without further ado, more dispatches from the Eastern Shore...
“They Had a Little Horsie Named…" Tuesday, 7/16
"I wish we could live here."
I once said the very same thing. But these days I no longer would agree with my youngest brother's sentiment. I hate sounding like an ingrate, but what seems an intoxicating paradise to a youngster is now, for me anyway, an exhausting way to spend a week of my summer. I can't say I look forward to going home, but I'm pretty sure I won't be distraught about leaving. Such is life. It's best to relax and squeeze every last drop of fun from this semi-sweet lemon called vacation.
After the usual beach excursion, we skipped lunch (for most of us, this means some very liberal snacking and slurping), and left for the 4 o'clock early bird buffet at Paul Revere,* on the boardwalk, at around 2nd Street to be exact. The quality of most of the offerings is OK, with a few highlights to be found in the vast array of comestibles. For example, the beef stroganoff was fair, but lacking one key ingredient: the beef.** Not surprisingly, the best eatin' includes the fried chicken, fried clam strips, and fried fish nuggets (starting to see a pattern here?). But the one can't-miss dish is the delightful Caramel Graham Cracker Marshmallow pie. It might've been a Jello mix, I couldn't tell. Just be sure to save room for a slice or two.
*I'm pretty sure the famous patriot had nothing to do with the opening of the restaurant.
**I'm tempted here to quote an infamous Wendy's commercial, but will refrain from doing so, in memory of Dave Thomas.
"A Fistful of Quarters" Tuesday, 7/16
After the mammoth feast on (well, not really "on") one boardwalk, we drive several miles north to another, that of Rehoboth Beach, DE, for a little entertainment.* FunLand has all the normal family fun accoutrements (rides, an arcade, ski ball), crammed into a space smaller than the main dining area of many restaurants we've visited.* In other words, it's wall-to-wall people. I've ridden (that word is not my favorite, for some reason) all the rides before, the kiddie games don't much amuse me, and the arcade games are all really old and crusty.
There are a few electronic entertainment prospects at the overpriced dedicated arcade on the boardwalk, so it is there that I drag myself, quarters in tow. The only thing really worth mentioning is the "Mo-Cap Boxing" simulator- you know the one where you pick up the "gloves" and battle a pretend pugilist in three dimensions, complete with full head movements for dodging the opponent's blows. After defeating the first two fighters, I give up. My shoulders are sore. It's worth a buck.
*Or, as Mozart referred to it, "Eine Kleine Nachtarkadegamesundstuff."
**Just a teensy-weensy exaggeration.
I believe my brother when he laments that he didn't have a very good time playing the ticket-spewing machines (ski ball, whack-a-mole, and the like). Apparently my sarcasm detector had been thrown off by a few two many virtual punches to the head; he had won at least ten stuffed animals, including a hulking brute of a dog, just about as large as him! Just another for the collection, the miniature zoo of Beanie Babies and stuffed animals they keep in their room. They'll snap out if it soon, I hope.
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
Gotta go to the HoCo Fair tomorrow. Be there and/or be square.
No, I won't be one of the lifestock judges, thanks for asking.
Bask in the GLORY of LOTR:FOTR:
Just get out their and snag yourself a copy. Caveat emptor; if you've got the ca$h (and the patience), you may want to consider waiting for the super deluxe Extended Edition that hits stores November 12. But if you're like me, and can't possibly wait three agonizing months for that 4 disc set, get the just-released theatrical 2 disc version. It'll knock yer socks off, guaranteed! Note that this edition has extras that won't be found on the Extended Release, not to mention the original cut of the film.
Also worth mentioning: there's a coupon in the 2 disc DVD for $5 off the 4 disc Extended Cut and $10 off the 5 disc LOTR (which has the National Geographic special on the last disc).
The preceding message brought to you by the Gandalf for President Committee.
Tuesday, August 06, 2002
Goin' to the O's game tonight, but I promise the next Ocean City episode is coming soon.
Meanwhile, some stuff...
"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why
the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."
-Evan Esar
"Ask five economists and you'll get five different
explanations (six if one went to Harvard)."
- Edgar R. Fiedler
"Summer is a promissory note signed in June, its long days spent
and gone before you know it, and due to be repaid next January."
- Hal Borland (1900-1978)
US journalist
"The difference between playing the stock market and
the horses is that one of the horses must win."
- Joey Adams (1911)
US comedian, author
"Reader's Digest," 1 Aug. 1985.
Go O's. I'm out. See ya.
Sunday, August 04, 2002
A little while back I mentioned in passing the idiotic little war now being waged by dunderheaded corporations as well as public institutions (most notably The Dallas Morning News and NPR) against "deep-linking." At the time, I thought it was only a few misguided know-nothing-about-the-'net-so-I'll-make-up-stupid-rules types who are insisting that webmasters refrain from linking to articles or multimedia buried deep within their pitiful little sites.
Boy was I ever naive.
Thanks to Don't Link to Us!, freedom-lovers can view with horror the rediculous lengths these nudniks go to in order to stop people from giving them free publicity. I have surfed the links and, for your benefit, collected the worst offenders for my own Terms of Use (a threatening term if I ever heard one.)
Terms of Service & Linking Policy
These are all real warnings I've found on various "privacy policy" pages. What garbage.
Saturday, August 03, 2002
The number one thing I'll miss being away from camp? (besides the cool counselors...)
Not broadband internet.
Not pizza and french fries every Friday. (Get it? Fry-day?)
Not little rugrats asking you what time it is while doing pierroettes in left field or throwing cups of water at one another.
No, what I will miss most of all is that landmark institution of geekdom, TechTV, formerly ZDTV. There's simply nothing better on television nowadays. Every single show on the channel is imminently watchable. From my number 1 addiction, The Screen Savers, through The Tech Of..., Call For Help, and of course Extended Play, I watch almost all of them religiously. The personalities, ironically I suppose, are great. Unfortunately, I think the network might be in a bit of trouble. No, I don't think it has to do with the all-kilt episode of TSS. The troubles seem more along financial lines. Everybody keep watching and supporting the shows on the most excellent TV channel of all time, while I try to get cable!
Indeed!*
*"Indeed" is a registered trademark of SWiley's Blog (How Original!) and may not be used without express written consent or the owner of said site will gouge your eyes out with pointy little carrot sticks.
Camp is over, I'm sad but somewhat glad at the same time. Sad to say goodbye to friends (co-workers and campers) but glad to get back to full-time slacking. You know the routine, reading and web surfing (another form of reading of course) interspersed with movies and things.
But let me now say thanks to all my peeps at Elrod Hendricks Baseball Camp:
"Prince" Eric
"The Other" Eric
Akers
"The Other Other" Steve
J.P.
Mike Mac
Mike Couser
Ian
Michael Broach
Leah- best of luck for your bro Lance, #71 on the Ravens!
Nathan
Chris Yetter- home run king- I'll be seeing you at college
Chris "Mafia" Morable
Kyle
Ruffin ("R.B.")
Andy
Coach Janiga
Joe Boz
...and for all the people I forgot... have a great rest of the summer and hope to see you next year.
But most of all...
Lauren and Lisa... thank you both so much for everything. I know that sounds very vague, but I really can't express my gratitude very easily. So, best of luck in your teaching adventures and anything else that come your way.
Sterg... it's been so great to get to know you these two summers at camp. All the best as you become a doctor... "but not the good kind." I think we're two of a kind, so I really wish you'd be able to come back next summer. In any event, just take it easy and stay cool. If that's possible in Georgia.
And Vicky, take care of Mr. McMillan and yourself. We all missed you this year.
Finally, Elrod, thanks for the camp, the many memories I have of it, and hope the O's go all the way this year.
_________________________________________________________
Want more coagulated brilliance? (And who doesn't?) Then go to the archives and read the oldies to your heart's content. Don't like this blog? Click here to move on to another... Come on back now, ya hear?