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Wednesday, July 31, 2002
Weird. My blog's not showing up. If you can read this, it has already begun working.
Well I was gonna post the next episode in the OC saga, but it's getting late and I have to go to the mall. "What fer?" ye ask? Books, dummy. What else can ya buy at a mall anyway?
Today's word o' the day is quiescently. If you must know why, simply look on the wrapper to a Twin Pop popsicle. Ludicrous.
Coolness from cyberdrum:
-this needs no description-
Peace out. I won't be checking back with you all for a few days. Camp ends on Friday. Sloth awaits.
Monday, July 29, 2002
Post 3...Day 3 A pattern immerges...
“Everything But the Pickle” Monday, 7/15
“With any luck, most of the weekenders have left the island,” I think to myself. (Ocean City is really on an island, Fenwick, doncha know? Maybe peninsula is the better descriptor.) Sure enough, the beach is only moderately filled as we file in through the dunes. The sun is out, but so far not stifling. The waves roll in and out, an inviting sight, to be sure. I spend the morning accustoming myself to the chilly 74-degree water. After a little wave jumping, my brother buries me up to my neck in sand (well, what else could I be buried in?).
Boy was I in for a surprise... I had no idea that fire ants were so attracted to my brand of shampoo!
After digging myself out, it's time for lunch, some reading, and a little tubage.
For supper, it’s Libby’s*, a little place about a mile north up in Delaware (“Home of Tax-Free Shopping!”). For passers-by, Libby’s is perhaps best known for the pony outside for kids to “ride” (it’s fake, but does have a name: Flapjack- that’s your trivia question for the day: it’s sure to show up on Jeopardy one of these days… “I’ll take ‘Delaware Restaurant Mascots’ for $600, Alex!”). Also notable is their prime rib, the special tonight. Incidentally, this is the third evening in a row that my brother David’s eating said cut of beef- he’s practically a carnivore. I get the BBQ Chicken Melt. Mmmm. No complaints at all. Sorry; I lie. I’d recommend everything but the pickle. Too dry.
*Their website seems to be down at the moment.
Sunday, July 28, 2002
Don't worry folks, that enormous Matlock banner is gone. See what happens when you post without doublechecking? So sorry...
Well why don't we do an old fashioned quotes/weird news post? Let's, shall we?...
"Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself."
- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
"'Tis nobler to lose honor to save the lives of men than
it is to gain honor by taking them."
- David Borenstein, 1996
"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than
to have them and not deserve them."
- Mark Twain
"Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud."
- Sophocles
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing,
great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions
of honor and good sense."
- Sr. Winston Spencer Churchill
And a few more from Sir Churchill:
"The greatest lesson in life is to know that
even fools are right sometimes."
"The price of greatness is responsibility."
"The optimist sees opportunity in every danger;
the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity."
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and
won't change the subject."
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing
its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means
to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting."
- E. E. Cummings, 1955
"The life of every man is a diary in which he means
to write one story, and writes another."
- James Matthew Barrie (Author of Peter Pan)
"I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople.
They ask me if they can help me, and I say, 'Have you got
anything I'd like?' Then they ask me what size I need,
and I say, 'Extra medium.'"
- Steven Wright
"If men liked shopping, they'd call it research."
- Cynthia Nelms (1846-1911)
US social reformer
"In a 'USA Today' interview, Vanna White said since her son
has been born, she wants to work less. Vanna, you turn
*tiles* for a living. If you worked any less, you'd be
the triangle player in the 'K.C. and the Sunshine Band.'"
- Dennis Miller
And just one little bit of weird news, but it's worth it:
WDIV-TV IN Detroit says a 29-year-old Port Huron, Mich., man is in trouble for a fight during which he allegedly used his prosthetic arm to hit another man.
The TV station reports the men argued late Saturday night and police say the suspect, who was not identified, swung at 40-year-old Richard Brooks, who was hit in the face. The hooked part of the prosthetic arm left a deep cut on Brooks' face and he was treated at a hospital. The suspect is expected to be arraigned on charges of assault with intent to do great bodily harm.
Saturday, July 27, 2002
I thought I'd go back to the present (no Delorean necessary) and fill everyone in on what I've been doing recently.
Monday I went to the O's game with my cuz, a frequent contributor to and reader of the blog. Also tagging along were Mary Ellen, bedman's dj partner and my uncle (his dad). (Sorry, no link for Uncle Willard- he should get a blog or journal or something.) Anyway, the game itself was OK. The O's lost to the Blue Jays, da bums.
Speaking of, the highlight of the day was on the way to the park, there was a drunk guy directing traffic. If I had been drinking anything at the time, it would have been squirting out my nose. I was laughing uncontrollably. Sorry. Inebriation is nothing to laugh or gawk at. :-D
Then yesterday afternoon I cut work a little early (it was rainy anyway, so everybody was inside doing nothing) to go with the family to Fredneck to see the Keys A-level baseball club play. Since we were on a bus with old folks... er... I mean retirees, we stopped at a down-home stye place for supper at about 4:45. Typical, I know.
As I mentioned, it had been pouring that day, so the grounds crew (apparently a few local farmhands who were moonlighting) couldn't fix up the field well enough to guarantee against any career-shattering injuries for the youngsters. The game was finally officially rained-out at like 8:15 or something, so they had a home-run derby, and proceeded with fireworks right afterward. And the geezers... I mean senior citizens couldn't have been happier. It was time to go home and watch some Matlock!
Wednesday, July 24, 2002
And now for part 2 of the OC adventure, corresponding to the second day of the trip:
"I am Tiger Woods" Sunday, 7/14
It's a rainy morning, but most everyone's taking it well so far. Instead of hitting the soggy beaches or moping around in the trailer (very spacious and accommodating I must say), we decide to play a few rounds of miniature golf at Old Pro Golf on 136th Street. At this juncture,* I'd just like to point out here that OC must be the mini-golf capital of the world. There's another one of these teenager traps popping up every other block along Coastal Highway, each with a special theme: “Viking Golf,” “Dinosaur Golf,” “Volcano Golf,” “Tiki Golf,” “Subjugation of Indigenous Peoples Golf,”** etc. just a few of the 18-hole offerings. Actually, most have a 19th “bonus” hole in order to get us suckers to try to win a free game, the odds of which seem in the range of 1 to 1 berjizzillion. It’s like trying to spit a pea into a soda bottle from 10 ft. away.
Note: author not in picture.
All 6 in our little “party” do very well, but I come out on top in the first round with a 41- 11 under par. There are 3 different “courses” at Old Pro: after my victory in Pirate golf, we take advantage of our unlimited game (from 10-5) pass and give Safari golf a shot, so to speak. I shoot 2 19s for a total of 38 (that Math 106 course sure comes in handy!), once again the winner.
*Jargon: the way of the future!
**Needless to say, another tasteless joke of mine.
Back to the trailer for a little lunch, then we return to the “links” for some "exotic" Polynesian golf. This time I make another 41, but mom beats me by 1 stroke. Everyone else is close behind; I think the worst score was 47. I honestly think my family could compete in and even win a team mini-golf tournament, were we to enter such an event. While the rest of the old pros do the beach thing, I hit the books and just chill.
"Good Libations" Sunday, 7/14
After our little tourney, it’s time to pick out a dining destination. We choose the traditional favorite, Dumser’s, a 50s-style restaurant. Very busy (though maybe a little less so than yesterday at Warren’s Station), it takes a good while to get a table open that seats 7. My impatient brother was about to start tossing plates in the general direction of the slothful devourers, but we were finally shown a table by 7:25 or so. And they let us sit down at it too.
Lightly breaded = deeeeeeep fried with enough cholestorol to give a cardiologist a heart attack, which would be somewhat ironic.
I order the butterfly shrimp and a cherry Coke- the sodas are extremely old-school fountain drinks with flavor and taste that are simply to die for!* Dumser’s (do resist the temptation to call it “Dumpster’s” in honor of the smelly garbage receptacles at the end of the parking lot) is a little pricy, but worth at least one visit for any hungry beach bum, if only for the scrumptious appetizers and the delectable soft drinks.
*Note the use of food review-style terminology. :-)
-End part2-
Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Umm, yeah. No OC update for today. Too late, I'm sad too say; there's not enough broadband-connected time in the day for me. But...
I think this woman's a genius. Who thought that 'net surfers were charitable/naive/money-loaded enough to simply give away ca$h to a needy young lady? Anyone up for a donation?*
*(to the "help SJWiley not be broke" fun)
I also like this site. Any cranky, pedantic grammarians who serve to deflate the ever-expanding egos of media/journalist types are A-OK in my book. I just hope they don't flog this blog... 'Twould make great publicity thought, I suppose.
Gotta run. The heat's getting to me. And I think my allergy prescription is making me [*yawn*] drowwwwsy...
Sunday, July 21, 2002
Here's the plan: I'm gonna transcribe all my notes from the past week to post for all ya'll. Cool? Let's go then. Part 1:
"Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown…" Saturday, 7/13
The dreaded day of departure has arrived. Things get off to a bad start: we were supposed to leave "around 10 or earlier" but in actuality we shoved off at 10:58.
To add to the ill feelings, we have to wait for 5 minutes or so at a train crossing, and shortly after both cars in the caravan have a minor collision, all within 10 miles of the house. Not a scratch on either car- they don't make bumpers like they used to, and in this case I think that's a good thing. Things go from worse to worst, which I think is the stupidest expression in the English language. So after munching on a phenomenally crappy quarter-pounder at The Golden [******] Arches and sucking on one too many Lifesavers to wash away the aftertaste, we navigate our vehicles to the realtor's office approximately 4 hours and 27 minutes after vacating our home, sweet home.
I'm now contemplating a summer without a trip to Ocean City. "Pilgrimage" might be the better word. It's not as though I feel obligated to come back next year, but while it has its charms, this sandy Mecca has long ago lost its novelty for me, a veteran of around 15 years. Since I'm here with my family, all activities of mine sort of revolve around them, so while I shouldn't complain about the monotony of this annual week-long holiday, I feel that I needn't believe that what I do here is as fun as what I'd be doing on my own. I know this makes little sense, but that's OK; maybe that's the point of this long spouting-off anyway. I want to detail the occurrences of this vacation for fun and, as they say, for posterity. Who knows? It could be the last that I take of this kind. But there's surely some fun to be had in the city by the sea*… there must be, right?
*No one actually calls it that, FYI.
"Yep, still day 1" Saturday, 7/13
Once unloaded, it's time for that glorious occasion that only happens once a day: supper! For din-din tonight, it's Warren's Station, a few miles up the highway in Fenwick Island, DE. We arrived on a busy Saturday night, fully expecting a long line and a long wait to be seated. We were certainly correct about the first part. Many families swarmed outside the restaurant as we strolled up to the hostess. "Party of 7." We were told there'd be a good wait. But… less than a minute after hearing this, we were told that a table opened up and it was ours for the taking. It was, as the Spanish say, ¡casi un milagro!* The restaurants other patrons were visibly not pleased. Tough noogies,** I say. It was as if my dictatorial fantasies had come true… "O, ¡es señor Wiley! ¡Dile una mesa pronto!"
*I made this dicho up completely, but it could be true.
** Credit where it's due: this phrase lifted from Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway.
The grub came quickly and the short wait was disposed of by the fresh sourdough rolls, an OC restaurant staple. Back to the food. My 12 oz. sirloin strip was grilled perfectly- to that most wishy-washy of steak donenesses: "medium." Unfortunately, I found it a bit fatty. (Yeah, this coming from me, ya smart aleck!)
The family-friendly (now there's a buzzword for the city) restaurant specializes in turkey and seafood, though not on the same dish, which would be bizarre. What they lack in variety they make up for in the quality of their entrees and in quantity as well- the portions are quite large- the moderately hungry need not apply. At "reasonable" prices too! (Though that begs the question: who decided what is a reasonable amount of green to pay in exchange for any type of fare?* Perhaps I should read a little Immanuel Kant…)
*Please note the restraint I show in not punning with "fair."
-End part1-
Saturday, July 20, 2002
Good News: No Shark-Induced Fatalities
Just wanted to say... I'm back! "With a vengeance!" OK maybe not... anyway, expect a big recap of the last week's events shortly. Lots of goodies just around the corner.
And you thought I was slacking off all of last week...
Friday, July 12, 2002
TTFN
Don't know what to say; this is my last post before the big trip down to Ocean City, MD. And so, as I will be without 'net access for the next 8 days or so, this is also the last you'll hear from me for the following fortnight. Unless I get bitten by a shark or something. Which would be bad for me physically, but possibly good in terms of publicity. Should such an unfortunate event occur, I'll try to write "swiley.blogspot.com" in the sand with my own blood, so the TV cameras can catch it. Good times. :-)
Want something to read in the days of my absence from the weblog? Go to Arts & Letters Daily for the latest articles, book reviews/previews, and essays on subjects most disparate and fascinating. Enjoy it, before the anti-"Deep Linking" nutcases make these types of sites. Idiots! The nutcases I mean, not the aldaily editors. +#3y r0x0r!
Ooops, I broke one of the unwritten rules of blogging: never insult your audience.
Wait, maybe the rule is always insult them, but do so in a relatively subtle manner. Sure, that sounds more like it, you blubbering, tick-infested lummox.
As I said, subtle.
Today's the last day for the first session of baseball camp. The kids are playing their final "World Series" games, as excited to play as ever. Well, most of 'em. A few you couldn't get to hustle if their was a $100 bill in the outfield. But they're mostly good kids, of almost equal skill all around. A couple are returning for the second three-week term, this Monday. I won't be here again 'til a week from Monday, for reasons I have alluded to in my last post. Vacation time is almost here... and so's the first half of my paycheck.
(No, I don't have to glue the two halves together back together, dummy.)
Tuesday, July 09, 2002
I probably won't be updating very much for the next 2 or 3 days; I've got reading to do, and a doctor's appointment, and I gotta get ready for the big family trip to OC*. All very time consuming, as is maintaining this site.
*Check out the webcam for a view of the great unwashed masses strolling through the boardwalk. Crowds: a complete bummer. Me: a total party-pooper.
Here's a few quotes on the timeless pastime to which I am currently devoting most of the waking day:
"Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical."
- Yogi Berra
"Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game --
it, and high taxes."
- Will Rogers
"Little League baseball is a very good thing because it
keeps the parents off the streets."
- Yogi Berra
"When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a baseball player,
and join the circus. With the Yankees, I've accomplished both."
- Anthony Standen (ha!)
It's somewhat of an egregious cliche for a blog to link to a story about blogging, or with just a passing reference to umm... bloggery, but here goes anyway:
"The Lights That Didn't Fail"
It's a fairly predictable patriotic July 4 piece (which in itself is fine by me every year or so...), but among the other sturdy American institutions, such as the military, cops/firefighters, and science/medicine, Peggy Noonan surprisingly lists blogging as a tribute to the greatness of the nation.
Cool, I guess, but like the Internet (and much else in the article), there isn't too much that distinguishes blogs as being "American." Then again, blogs and the whole phenomenon of journals on the 'net, wherever they originate, do indeed celebrate individuality and absolute freedom of personal expression, a characteristic cherished by all (or, sadly, most) of us in the U.S.A.
Sunday, July 07, 2002
Well, I'm about to go off for another smashing week of baseball camp. Sorry about my little meltdown yesterday. My mood has settled quite a bit; no cafe mayhem for me!
I'm as chipper as a... ummm... the big dipper! Want a rhyme? Come to me anytime...lol!
This bit of electronic prozac brought to you by the coolest lil' gringa on the plantet... BitterJalapena*: Fardy Hardy!!!!
*AKA (Among many other aliases...) wildsuga, unlicensed psychiatrist extraodinaire.
Saturday, July 06, 2002
Not much else to say, just that after the library incident I felt a little bit dreary. I stopped at the mall and went (where else?) to the Waldenbooks location and just drifted around a bit. (That is the normal reaction to mild depression, right? Sure it is...) They didn't have much of what picqued my interest, but I impulse-bought a few things anyway. Maybe it was the spirit of Carla, seductress/saleswoman- remember her? I dunno. I didn't see her.
I left the crummy, downsized store with a bleak outlook on life. Maybe it was the Tylenol allergy pharmaceuticals. I just felt cast-out, for whatever reason. I felt vaguely anarchistic. I wanted to see the Starbucks go down in glorious flames.
*With no people inside at the time, of course.* But I just had this gorgeous image in my mind of the shopping center becoming flooded with Venti Cappucino Mocha Double Latte Espressos.* Yeah, I wanted to see lots of merchandise dripping with caffienated commercialism. If they ever decide to close one of them**, let me know. I mean, if they decide to demolish one of them, invite me. Nothing really against them, I promise. It's just that at that particular moment I had had it up to here with people. Errgggg! But the clerks at Walden were very genial, helpful even! Didn't matter. Misanthropy was my chosen demeanor. Now get outta my way!
*No sugar, please!
** HAHA! Fat chance, I know.
My fantasy life has been in overdrive recently, as all of you readers can easily gather. Now you see what 5K001 does to your head? Creativity reigns during the summer, but facts and reason are my masters in the remaining months.
Bye bye now.
Well, today was unusually melodramatic, for a Saturday at least.
I went over to HoCo's Central Library* in Rouseville**, and while looking up some stuff, I heard the shrieking of a young child, leaving in his wake chaos and havoc***. Right next to me is some stoner, chatting away in yahoo!, a definite no-no at the library. Across from the hesher is some weirdo chick, a Wiccan-type from the looks of her. No offense, to all you goth-chicks, but... Anyways, the kid's causing a pretty major distrubance, no doubt, but the mother is definitely trying to settle him down. So the little squirt keeps on yelping away as mom diligently tries to steer him toward the exit of the biblioteque. Meanwhile, Sabrina and Harry Pothead are mumbling little snide comments to themselves, "Too much sugar, dude!"... "Nawww.. not enough parenting"... "Yawww... totally!" which didn't strike me right away as too inappropriate. But then the girl screams right at the poor woman, "SHUT THAT CHILD UP AND GET HIM OUT OF HERE!!!" Yipes. I really don't like these sorts of situations. Not even being in the immediate vicinity. I felt like telling the mother I felt sorry for her. I mean, sure, the little mouseketeer did have to go, but that shameless outburst just hit me the wrong way. Hhmmm... I guess I'm just the sympathetic kind of guy. A kid at camp told me I seem like a dad. A fairly scary thought, at my age. But maybe I can understand the sentiment...
*Which re-opened last year, and for some reason or another, I hadn't yet re-visited the place. Pretty schwanky. I think they've got a java and juice bar, which I tried to ignore.
**AKA Columbia, land of a thousand trees, not to mention all butt-ugly zoning-restricted buildings... :-P
*** Or vice-versa: havoc and chaos for sure.
John Frankenheimer, 1930-2002
Awwww... man... the director of one of my favorite movies, The Manchurian Candidate, just passed away.
What a whacked-out, bonkers movie that is! So fresh, so stylish, edgy, scary, and energized. A classic thriller, the likes of which are increasingly rare.
Sometime I want to check out Seconds, which he made after MC and Seven Days in May, and sounds very freaky indeed. I guess he had sort of a paranoiac trilogy there in the 60's. Heard his recent Ronin has some tight action scenes, so it might too be worth a viewing... man, what would a movie- fanatic blogger do without the imdb?
R.I.P.
Friday, July 05, 2002
Living it up on Independence Day
So yesterday we were invited to have lupper* and then view the subsequent fireworks display at a golf club. Errr... I mean at a country club sort of place, not at a 9 Iron or something crazy like that.
*at 4:00, it's hard to say whether it should be called lunch or supper.
A very posh, upper-class joint I must say, though I had eaten there before, so it's not as thought this was an entirely alien experience. We dined* in this balcony overlooking a tent which contained the feeding throngs... it made me feel like some third-world dicatator or something. I felt like throwing a bowl of jello at one of the "peasants," but my better judgment persuaded me that it might cause some sort of international incident and NATO or the UN would have to step in.
*Can I use "dine" to mean "scarf down BBQ, burgers, and other relatively lowbrow comestibles"? Can't see why not...
It's funny what the blazing sun can do to one's mind. :-D
BTW, it's mildly ironic that yesterday I was in with the beautiful people at an elite country club and a week from tomorrow I'll be living in a trailor for a week. In Ocean City mind you... Just an innocent observation. :-)
Anyway, the fireworks show was quite awesome, maybe the coolest ever. Then again, it seems that I say that after every year's Catonsville High extravaganza. Except for last year, when some lamer got injured and they had to cancel after only 15 mins or so. What a disappointment! :-(
Speaking of dorks and the letdowns they always seem to bring about, I always find it amusing when some Baltimoron (you know the type, with the "hon" accent and terminology or: just insert local yokel here) calls out "Ohhhwww, mayan. Thayat was a dud!" and immediately after he says this, BOOOOOOOM!!!!!, the delayed firework goes off. It cracks me up every single year! I love it when loudmouth nerf herders have to eat some serious crow. I laugh to myself, but making sure to guffaw loudly in the general direction of the mistaken dweeb.
Have a great weekend- maybe I'll post again sometime soon...
Wednesday, July 03, 2002
Some weird news:
New Zealanders on July 9 will be able to wake up and smell the ... newspaper. That's not a problem for most since this edition of the Otago Daily Times will be chocolate scented.
The stunt is to mark the opening of the Cadbury World visitor center and factory. Cadbury is the maker of Cadbury chocolates, of course.
Group advertising sales manager Paul Dwyer said in an Otago article: "Some newspapers around the world have already used strongly smelling inks and, at first, we thought we would try chocolate flavored ink. But we thought that was a bit risky as the printing might not be permanent. People might have tried to lick the news off the page."
It was the Cadbury chemists who told them about the chocolate flavored perfume, which they purchased from an Australian vendor. The newspaper staff designed a simple sprayer that squirts 24,000 times an hour but a plumber will be on hand during the press run, just in case of any clogs.
Coming soon... magazines that smell like perfume! Wait... I think they already have those...
The black-and-white wanted poster read: "Large mouth, length up to 40 inches, weight up to 15 pounds ... it can survive out of water several days. If you come across this fish, please kill."
The Washington Post reports a Washington, D.C.-area man, Joe Gillespie, his son and his son's friend did just that -- hooked and killed a northern snakehead.
The problem, the newspaper reports, is scientists are afraid this strange creature, a fish that can shimmy on its belly and fins across land and live out of water, may not have come alone. The first report was from an angler who caught a 19-inch version and tossed it back. The fish Joe and his crew caught was 26 inches.
State biologists had tried for days but failed to catch the fearsome curiosity, which apparently can quickly clean a pond out of regular fish. Wildlife officials have set new traps and are checking ponds daily.
Note: D.C.-area probably means "Marylander." I'll keep my eyes open for any of these scary suckers so they don't eat the kids at camp. Here's a pic; be on the lookout:
FDA Shuts Off Nicotine Water Spigot
(AP) Water laced with nicotine is billed as a "refreshing break to the smoking habit," but the Food and Drug Administration ruled Tuesday that it's also illegal, ending a California company's bid to begin selling bottles later this month...
Mmmmm... liquid cigarettes. Can't imagine why they decided to ban that stuff.
Have a safe and happy 4th. Don't give a guy a firecracker in a hotdog bun. It might seem fun at first, but it isn't worth the dental expenses.
Tuesday, July 02, 2002
Hey all, it seems I've converted one fellow camp counselor to the righteous Way of the Blog:
Check out OrioleFanatic2003's Blog. Don't mind the missing jpg on the front page; we're trying to blog on Macs, which isn't a great idea, IMHO.
note:The author of this site does not necessarily condone any of the content on said blog. In other words, don't blame me for what the other Steve* has to say. You're on your own from here...
*As opposed to the "other other" Steve. There are three of us, remember? And I don't think "other other" has a blog. I'll keep you posted though...
Now it's time for a few entries for the Official Elrod Hendricks Baseball Camp Glossary, Stergios Botzakis, editor, now in its 3rd printing:
Stubburned, adj., One whose irrational resistance to sunblock has had a seriously negative effect on his or her skin. A portmanteau word, derived from two English words of various origins.
example: Man, that bratty kid is so stubburned his face is starting to peel off! His parents are gonna be PO'd... but it's not our fault he won't put that blue glop all over himself. alt. spelling: stubburnt
Receding hairnet, n., A mesh for holding the hair in place, specifically for someone suffering from Male Pattern Baldness.
example: I'm glad I don't work in the kitchen; I'd have to wear a receding hairnet.
Running for distance, n., An "olympic" event, in which the little hooligans are told to run as far away as possible, maybe to the mall, where they could pick me up something cool from the Sharper Image. Apparently a combination of the events "Long Distance Throwing" and "Running." Definitely not a recommended activity in this heat.
example: I bet Jason would win the Long Distance Running competition, if only by default. He plays soccer for Pete's sake!
Lexicology: ain't it fun?!
Pheewwwww... it is blazing outside. The heat index says it feels somewhere around 100 degrees+. I'm so happy to be indoors right now for break. We aren't officially off-duty, but the kids seem fairly occupied by the comedic stylings of John Goodman, Rick Moranis, et al. Snore. %-}
Monday, July 01, 2002
One more post...
This defies any possible rational explanation:
Men Dressed As Ninjas Shut Local Freeway
From loyal reader VampireHunterBob:
why did steve leave out these memorable quotes?
"The U.S. should have stayed out of that war, thanks to me we
almost won ..... then the turks and germans beat us."
- Sir Winston Spencer Churchill
"I'm leaving this country if bush wins the election."
- James Baldwin
-Taken from the posting complex.
Uhh... Dave... I mean "Bob"... wasn't that Alec Baldwin? Never mind.
And finally, a pic of me and some... ahem... friends my grandparents had over for dinner yesterday...unfortunately most of the "friends" didn't survive the afternoon. Life's hard as a crab.
That's me on the left. No, that wasn't my beer. ;-)
Right. So I was about to update earlier today when I ran into some computer-related problems. Arrrgh.
Yeah, Crapple Macintrashes are easy to use, but when they go down, they go down hard. This brilliant insight brought to you by Chicken Sandwiches: They're not just for breakfast anymore!
Didn't I say that camp would seriously hinder my ability to post frequently?
PhoneSpell.org:
This is so cool. I've used it before, but it didn't work too well with my home "POTS" phone. But I tried it with my cell number and got the following phrase:
"I hex job free."
Yeah, that almost makes sense. Just dial that on your phone and you should get me. Leave a message, preferably not a sales pitch. Thanks.
Just what exactly that phrase means is still a mystery to me. I guess it means that I screw up whatever I'm working on without charge. How true it is.
Aaaahhh... it was a real steamer today. Currently watching a really awful football episode of the A-Team. They're playing against these East Germans...lol! Unfortunately, I tend to think television as a whole has not progressed much past the days of a half-ton of explosives and Mr. T.
These pop-ups are getting insane. *sigh* I wish there were some legal way to ban 'em all. At least the super agressive, take-over-your-PC type pop-under atrocities.
"Elect me, and I pity da fool that dares proliferate pop-up crap!"
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