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Friday, February 28, 2003
Wow, man. Just wow. Before last night, I thought Pablo Francisco was a really funny guy. Now, having gone through the PF Experience, I know for a fact that he is one of the most hilarious carbon-based life forms walking the planet. He is just a one-man riot. I could not finish my drink during his set, because every other second I was screaming with laughter.
Last night, as noted, despite the s***, was the UMBC amateur comedy competition. Lots o' laffs, let me tell you. To be frank, a few of the acts were rather unpolished, to put it gently. The crowd was pretty tough on some of the hopefuls. But in the end, the winner was obvious and the rest, well, were lucky if one joke went over well. But major props to everybody who went out there and tried.
And major gratitude to the world's funniest living comedian, Pablo Francisco. [registered nurse! ;-)]
To quote a guy sitting behind me, "The best $3 dollars I ever spent!" $20 would have been a bargain. Hope to see him again sometime.
Edit: Pablo returns to the area this August. Schweeeet.
Thursday, February 27, 2003
What is up with all this s***? I mean, if this isn't the last s***fall we have this year, I swear, I'm moving to Florida. They never get s***ed on down there.
I am/was supposed to be going to see my favorite comedian, Pablo Francisco perform at UMBC tonight. Thanks to the s***, that probably ain't happening. So yeah, I officially hate s*** now. Too much of a good thing can be a definite bad thing. In other words, s*** happens.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
New TRW article! First in a while!
Let’s "Talk" about Life, Death, and Love
Steve Wiley
Retriever Weekly Staff Writer
Pedro Almodóvar’s "Talk to Her" (***1/2 out of four) is a graceful, lyrical and at times uncanny examination of the question of unrequited love, although only one of the characters sees it that way. It is sorrowful without ever becoming maudlin and humorous without losing its dramatic edge. Almodóvar wisely chose to forgo any pretentious, distracting techniques in filming this story, thus making it easily accessible for almost all viewers, despite some of its more disturbing elements. It is refreshing how quickly a film like this can absorb the moviegoer, so that all who seek out this film can be rewarded by its charming, highly original narrative.
If you couldn't already tell, this is a really good flick, which I enjoyed quite a lot. Look for it.
In other TRW news, fellow staff writer Amy Segreti has stirred up all kinds of attention with her latest piece, which I recommend to all, except those under 18, if you catch my drift. The reason for such sturm und drang? Why, because it got posted on FARK! Like most discussions over there, this comment thingee is also unsuitable for minors. Like that'll deter you, you little letch.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
24: 9:00 pm to 10:00 pm
SHERRY (aka LADY MacPALMER: I didn't sleep with [Stanton].
POTUS PALMER: (In a wonderfully diabolically tone of voice.) I didn't ask.
This was a strange episode, one after which it's incredibly hard to believe there's going to be much of a story to tell in the coming weeks. This was the real-life time synchronous episode- watching the clock tick by on screen as it does on the clock radio is kinda fun. And this really was the key turning-point episode. So many odd things happening... (if you haven't seen the episode, consider this your SPOILER WARNING)
So, in CTU land, we get the sad departure of George Mason. It's not the last we'll see of him, I'm positive. A possible mole candidate? The magic 8 ball says "unlikely." Otherwise, it seems the forecast for this location in the show is cloudy, with a strong possibility of cat fighting. Notice the lack of audible ticking from the clock after George leaves the scene? Yep, just like when Teri croaked last season. R.I.P.
Kommander Kim didn't fare too poorly, I have to admit. She used her brain (that she had one was in itself a surprise), took action, and just said "no" to Mr. Survivalist. What a poor, pitiful moron that guy is- let's see... besides forgetting about the TV, this sad sap honestly expects his near-conquest to throw him a bone even after she's clobbered him upside the head and pulled a knife on him. OK, so his pleas for her to "come back sometimes" were quite ready for mocking, but what about his arming her? Hmm... he knows she's wanted for kidnapping and murder, so he gives her a gun, his gun, so that he can be incriminated in an episode down the line... "Fabulous!" to quote those crazy gum ads. One can only hope that Kim is back to her usual inane exploits in the coming weeks.
Mmmm... k. So the Prez didn't exactly lay the smack down on Ms. So-and-so tonight, but he makes up for his extremely bad judgment this season (i.e. listening to a single word that's come out of her mouth) by unapologetically dismissing her. Not the last that we'll see of her, one knows.
OK, now for the "main" storyline at the airport. Umm. So. They have the bomb. Again. I think we're supposed to believe it's real this time and that it's the only one. Good news though: another torture scene for all those of you who appreciate that sort of thing.
A few random notes:
FOX: STOP SPOILING THE SHOW EVERY CHANCE YOU GET!!! I mean it! OK, so I can skip the end-of-show previews. And I can boycott the FOX network, FX, and FOX NEWS all I want to avoid spoiler-ridden commercials- that's my prerogative. But for the love of all that is decent- DO NOT SHOW UPCOMING SCENES DURING THE FREAKIN' EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and where is Nina? We miss her.
Monday, February 24, 2003
OK, I have a big "oops" to tell you about. A little over a week ago I posted a short story about the "sport" of car stereo blasting. I neglected to include any credit for the story. Well, I said it was from the Wall Street Journal, but what it actually was was a News of the Weird item that was referencing a WSJ article. "Oops," I say. Extremely poor web etiquette on my behalf, I'm the first to admit. Man, that was stupid of me. My apologies to Chuck Shepherd, editor of the aforementioned News of the Weird (to which I subscribe), who informed me of my erring ways.
If I've done this to anyone else's work, please let me know! I feel so embarrassed by my profound negligence in that instance, but I'm glad that this could be rectified. I know I'll be much more careful in citing sources from now on (just as I would certainly expect of anyone who quotes anything I've written.)
Sunday, February 23, 2003
This hatred of France has gone waaaaay overboard. And I really hate to say that- I rather enjoy the good French = cowards joke, but for me, any teasing between English- and French-speaking people is simply a good-natured, historically-honored custom, a traditional jab at the ol' bud from across the pond. But now, there seems to be a real, deep anger, nay- rancor towards les francais.
And I really hate to defend them, but there's a joke going around the Internet that some lazy, angry (bad combination...) journalists (read- bloggers on a payroll) are passing around as fact: Type "French military victories" into google, and you get 0 hits (and it suggests that you substitute "defeats")! Mwahahaahha. *ahem* The joke is in picture form, typically: http://people.ucsc.edu/%7Eneilk/search.png
Apparently, just seeing that image was all the proof Geoff Metcalf needed. Good job. Apparently, a .005 second search of the web was too difficult a task to verify his sources...
The funny thing is, as Brian Weatherson handily points out, the phrase is now ranked much higher than the respective search for othe nationalities,simply because of pro-war anti-French bloggers who are passing around the joke!Is that post-modernism at work, or what?
Errr... actually they are only helping to strengthen the reputation of the French military. Most of the sites that are found in that search have existed for some time, and are unrelated to the currently fashionable joke. I misread Weatheron's site.
Personality Disorder Test Results
Disorder Rating Paranoid: Low Schizoid: Moderate Schizotypal: High Antisocial: Low Borderline: Low Histrionic: High Narcissistic: Low Avoidant: High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --
Well, I did a lot better than I had expected when taking it. I'm pretty sure I had already taken it at least once before. And if taking online personality tests more than one time isn't a sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder or at least o-c behavior, then I don't know what is.
Saturday, February 22, 2003
Ooh ooh
I gotta big [chocolate] stash, pocket full of cash
Just seen a big ol' [car crash], it's Saturday
Sticky, icky, icky, icky
Sticky, icky, icky, icky
System on blast, cops just passed
Just seen a big ol' [bass], it's Saturday
Sticky, icky, icky, icky
Sticky, icky, icky, icky
Yes it is. Time fo' a partay 2nite.
Thursday, February 20, 2003
What was I thinking in my last post? I've got two classes and a nice weekend ahead of me. No worries, mon.
New TRW article coming Tuesday! I bet you're more pumped about that than you are about the Matrixes (Matrices?), the Hulk, and X2, combined!
Wow. School tomorrow. This is going to be so weird, coming back after four unscheduled days off. I'm not sure if I'll be able to adjust.
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
24: 8:00 to 9:00 pm
"How am I not surprised?" (My thoughts upon the show's conclusion.)
First off, I'd like to say that this was overall another superb episode. Kim finally gave us a good reason for her presence on the show. Well, actually she gave us TWO good reasons to watch the show. Wink! (All the guys out there know what I'm referring to.)
I really want to know who this jackass Samuels is; I bet it's gonna be another guest star, a la Dennis Hopper.
Michelle is starting to seem very evil... must keep an eye on her, even as Lady MacPalmer plots something insidious I assume. Simply can't wait til Mr. President brings down the pain upon her sorry self. I hope he's setting her up for a huge fall, something that will humiliate her and send her away for good. Otherwise, he's an extremely gullible putz.
Guesses on why the radio stations went dead at the survivalist's place? Did he fake it to lure the young, innocent Kommander Kim down to the fallout shelter? That's the only thing that makes sense to me. We'll see next week.
Monday, February 17, 2003
A January Wall Street Journal report described "dB Drag Racing," a "sport" in which the winning car is not the fastest but the one with the loudest stereo system, but ordinary urban street cruisers are not in these drivers' league. In the "Extreme" category, cars are completely rebuilt and powered with enough juice to operate several private homes. Extra-thick glass and concrete poured into the floor and doors keep the sound inside, where the measurement takes place. Last year's winner, from Germany, registered 177.7 decibels. [Wall Street Journal Online, 1-26-03]
...from News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd
So now I know what's keeping me up at night. Turn it down, will ya???
Sunday, February 16, 2003
Más nieva. ¡¡¡MUCHÍSIMA NIEVA!!!
Grr... muscles so weak. I don't know how people in Minnesota deal with this stuff [insert stronger invective if you please].
Shoveling ton after ton of white powder, I felt like the older brother in the movie Frailty. If you've seen it, you know which seen I'm talking about. In fact, I often feel like the older brother in that movie, which might not be a good thing, if you've seen the movie, and understand it, which few do, IMHO.
And now I've lost my train of thought... tell me if you find it.
Friday, February 14, 2003
Jeez, this site's been dormant this past week. It's been catch-up time for me, scholastically and otherwise. Ahem.
[Read that as you will.]
Let's see... saw Daredevil today. Extremely disapointing. I'd elaborate on that, but I'm too busy. REALLY wish I were reviewing it for TRW. Anyone, my short take? It's terribly derivative, rather witless, and ultimately not fun at all. I had high hopes for this one, but it just falls flat. It doesn't know where its strengths lie. It offers no dramatic closure. The acting is completely over the top; Colin Farrell, whom I've enjoyed recently, as Bullseye, is just trying to ape Nicholson in The Joker... er, I mean, Batman. Well, "ape" isn't the right word, but I mean, he is so overacting that it makes his (authentic) Irish accent seem a put-on (and I bet some will think it is.) Most of the fights/FX was OK, obviously the product of a lot of hard work. The radar vision is pretty cool, I admit, but underused in fact- I would've liked to have seen more of it, in the action scenes. A brain-draining headache of a movie, which functions best as surround-sound reference material.
1 & 1/2 stars out of 4
Predicted 1st Weekend Gross: $67 Million
Predicted Total: $135 Million
Daredevil 2? By 2005, I'm positive.
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
The Dell Computer Dude got busted with marijuana...
He ought to be ashamed for using a Gateway drug!
...sorry.
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
24: 7:00-8:00 pm
'Don't let your daughters grow up to be terrorists.'
Most shocking episode ever? Could be; we'll see about next week's.
Hypothetical question:
Can a president have such qualms about Jack's actions (unbelievable, in every sense of the word: "I will kill your family unless you tell me where the bomb is right now!") when he himself is overseeing the torture of the man who was one of his closest advisors just a few hours earlier? Just a thought.
I think someone should keep a running count of the number of torture scenes on the show... The season opener (very first scene in fact), Kate and the investigator/h@x0r, etc...
I would have sworn that "N34" meant latitude 34 degrees north. But I was being too clever... It's de plane, boss. Or so they would lead you to believe.
So here we are, halfway through season two. I remember being halfway through last year; I think we all agree that the initial story arc was intended for the first 12 episodes and was expanded when the show was renewed for the full season. (Or maybe we don't agree, and I'm full of it.) My point is, it will be quite interesting to see how the rest of the shows work themselves out, now that we know more or less exactly where the bomb is.
Monday, February 10, 2003
Another wonderfully quirky site of the nite:
VirtualStapler.com
An amazing animated stapler Flash simulator! An exhaustive gallery! A hilarious letters page! Staplers in film! Etc.!
Their FAQ page is just filled with such amazing tidbits of wisdom:Q) Why does a stapler anvil have two different staple directions - loop in/loop out? What is the advantages/benefits of each?
A) This is, without a doubt, the single most frequently asked question we get here at VirtualStapler.com... and hence, we have have several different answers. The best answer we've found so far comes from the good folks over at The Stapler Database, who obviously get this question a lot themselves. Their answer:
"This 'anvil piece' is called the Pinning/Stapling switch. The pinning function is a carryover from the time before staple removers. It makes the staple form a relatively straight form. You can staple two pieces of paper together then pull out the staple. Good for temporary fastening, it's kind of a paperclip competitor. You can also use it when sewing. Instead of using pins, you just staple. There is also one used on Hotchkisses and some Bates staplers that makes one end go in and one go out. You pull the side with the crimped down staple to get the staple out."
...
So yeah, obviously a crucial piece to that great big puzzle known as human knowledge. An invaluable resource! What ever would we as a species do without it? Is my faux-irony wearing a bit thin?!
This website gets my thumbs-up:
Who Would But That?
The URL says it all. Rediculous eBay items, up for your mocking pleasure. Lots o' broken links, but that's the nature of the Internet auction game I suppose.
Sunday, February 09, 2003
OK, this is interesting. Apparently this research group known as Acacia says that they hold patents to the transmission of all digital media, and that everyone who, umm... uses the World Wide Web to display non-text content, essentially, need to pay up. Uh-huh...
Acacia Says Webcasters Infringing on Patents
Fri Feb 7, 8:14 PM ET
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Acacia Research Corp. (NasdaqNM:ACRI - news) on Friday said it has notified Webcasters and other companies that they are infringing on patents it holds related to the online transmission of digital music and other media.
Paul Ryan, the company's chairman and chief executive, said the Newport Beach, California-based company wants 0.75 percent of Webcasters revenues as a licensing fee
...
Odd, no?
My first question is, if they filed the patents over 10 years ago, why are they only acting on them now?
This would be like one of Gutenberg's decendents (no, not *that* Guttenberg!) announcing that newspapers, magazines, and other print media organizations all need to fork over a certain percentage of their revenues.
Hmm... .75% times 999999999999999999999999999 companies on the net = $! We're talking Bill Gates money here folks, easily. It will be interesting to see if this has any legal merit.
From Acacia's webpage:
Click here to view a visual depiction of Acacia’s DMT Technology.
Translation: All Your Base... you get the drift. ;-D
Saturday, February 08, 2003
It's come to my attention that this page sometimes doesn't load right, with posts displayed at the foot of the page rather than to the side of the menu/sidebar. Sorry- I've yet to discover the root of the problem, but things apparently work if you just reload the page. I hope they do for you.
3-day weekends are killer. Yesterday was an unscheduled vacation day for UMBC, er... just about everyone in the Mid-Atlantic region of the U.S., so what else was there to do but ...
Shovel snow!
OK, on with the pics!
As you can see, we got a few inches (centimeters, for those outside the U.S., natch).
A better view of the post-"blizzard" lanscape.
My grandparents' new Volkwagen, experiencing its first winter storm.
That's me, talking on the phone after helping to shovel the driveway (see above) with my bro John. Don't call me; I'll call you!
Drive safe, folks. You never know when you're gonna run into a slick spot on the road. (As if you need me to tell you that.)
Thursday, February 06, 2003
Alert! New TRW article:
Dangerous Game Show Interesting Liaisons
Steve Wiley
Retriever Weekly Staff Writer
Imagine that: Charlie Kaufman has written another bizarre movie that twists and turns through the real world, utter fiction, and the pseudo-reality of celebrity and popular culture. Kaufman wrote 1999’s off-its-hinges "Being John Malkovich" as well as the mostly brilliant "Adaptation" from a few months ago. Now he and first-time director George Clooney bring game show impresario Chuck Barris’ infamous "unauthorized autobiography" "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" to the silver screen as a darkly comic exposé, and the result is one weird, wild rollercoaster ride of a film (***1/2 out of four).
Tré cool, no? Don't ask me about the headline- it's a condensed form of what I suggested. It's effective though, I admit.
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
24: 5:00-6:00 p.m.
Man, it is nice to see a friend after an absense of three weeks. And three loooooooong weeks they were.
I've got a feeling that this will be the most-watched 24 yet, what with the boring as all heck but strong in the ratings American Idle... er, Idol as a lead-in, and it being "sweeps" for TV. Anyhow, my point is that I really hope that too many people don't get turned off by tonight's jaw-droppingly gory climax. Really incredible- I had to look away from the set, which is a truly rare thing indeed. I'm glad I wasn't eating s'mores at the time. ;-)
So yeah. It was a good episode, except... *sigh* The Kommander Kim Super-Absurd Subplot of the Week, starring A Mountain Lion! Who must be extremely patient, since we first spotted it about halfway throught the show and Kim ain't made mincemeat Uhm. Yep.
PREDICTION: Michelle is a traitor; Tony (née Soulpatch) will be day before season's end.
(Would it were Kim.)
[If Elisha Cuthbert's reading this, please, no offense intended. The writers are to blame for your rather pathetic character.]
Love how all the most important, exciting things in the 24 universe just happen to take place no earlier than 10 minutes before the hour, or at the very earliest, at the 40-45 minute mark. Tonight's twist ending was not exactly expected, but rather it was an unexpected expectation.
Hmm... too much school bad for brain. Me go sleep now.
Sunday, February 02, 2003
Now here are two related items on the same subject. I've written about this before and recently it's been getting more attention from people.
First, an article concerning the general phenomenon of "unscripted" [*riiiiight*] advertising:
Getting Real: No script, no storyboard? Ads take a cue from reality TV
...real consumers singing Apple's praises for "Switchers"...
Wow! So they're real people, unlike those *ahem* FAKE ACTORS! Uh-huh. If people are paid to sell something, they are acting, whether they actually use the product or not.
Next up, a slice from a weekly email newsletter I get. Last week was their annual Top 10 issue, consisting of "best/worst of" lists submitted by readers. And the pertinent example:
THE ANNOYING
By Steve Ashby
...
8. ANY COMMERCIAL ON A WHITE BACKGROUND.
From the rest of those stupid Apple ads, to Val Kilmer scared of digital cameras, to beautiful people ruining Motown classics while pawning off Gap clothes, to overweight movie geeks misquoting their favorite JAWS quote on AMC (it's "you're gonna need a bigger boat," not "we're gonna need a bigger boat"), this trend of people on white backgrounds, usually to some sort of "quaint, almost backwoods" music needs to really stop.
...
Haha! Couldn't have said it better myself- and I tried!
Anyway, I s'pose I should give the most excellent Shank a plug.
SUBSCRIBE:
To subscribe to The MobTown Shank, e-mail MobTownShank@atomicbooks.com and say "I want a piece of The Shank." To stop it, e-mail and say "get me off The Shank."
And that's that.
_________________________________________________________
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