University of Maryland College Park students caught cheating! UMBC students everywhere collapse out of utter consternation!
Really, I do hate to generalize an entire body of students, but this is not exactly astonishing news. And not that UMBC students are necessarily pure as the driven snow, but this is not out of character for that jock school, that "diploma factory," as my aunt, a UMCP grad once called it.
The University of Maryland is investigating 12 students for allegedly using their cell phones to dial up all the right answers during fall exams.
The students are accused of using the "text messaging" functions on their phones or pagers to receive silent messages from friends who had access to answer keys for the tests, campus officials said yesterday.
One very important thing to point out:
Some professors, he said, have gotten in the habit of posting the keys while students are still taking the exam, assured that students would not be able to see the answers until they had turned in their tests and left the proctored classroom.
It is unclear exactly how the accused students may have cheated, Zacker said. But preliminary investigations suggest that they may have arranged to have friends outside the classroom consult the keys and call in the answers.
In some cases, professors had posted answer keys on their Web sites, and officials believe that students may have used cell phones equipped with Web browsers to look up the answers themselves, while still in the exam room.
The memo, from Provost William W. Destler, also advised faculty not to post answer keys until well after an exam is completed.
Hahahahahaha! Stupid professors got what was coming to them then! Well, not really; cheating sucks for everyone, but retarded profs deserve to lose their tenure.
But yes, this helps to ease my and my fellow Retrievers' inferiority complex.
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