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Saturday, November 30, 2002
I've been slogging* away over my homework so my presense here lately has been a bit on the shorter end of things.
*Yes, that's a word.
I get I should mention the annual Thanksgiving trip out to my Uncle and Aunt's in West Virginia* we took the other day. As always, the food was wonderful and the family togetheness experience quite priceless. I even showed my aunt this here blog and exposed her to some of my TRW writings.**
*Semi-official slogan: "Almost heaven!"
**Yes, they do get the Internet up in them parts... ;-)
They even have runnin' water 'n' 'lectricity!
So if you're reading this, Aunt Denise, thanks a bunch, for your compliments and constructive criticism.
By the way, I found that P.J. O'Rourke / Christopher Buckley piece I was talking about. It's also in P.J.'s book The CEO of the Sofa, but here's the entire article, every last (hilarious) minute of it.
CLICK HERE TO READ
Blind (Drunk) Wine Tasting
Christopher Buckley and P.J. O'Rourke, 10.30.99
In which two nonexpert--but definitely experienced-- wine drinkers sample 13 bottles, and swallow it all.
And a representative samplling, so to speak:
CODICE
Rioja, 1997
Spain, $7.49
V.: "Bordeaux method with Tempranillo grape. A bit lighter, tarter than California wines. Wood flavor, rusticity."
PEW: "Spain and Portugal joined the E.U. (and, as far as most of their wine is concerned, the 20th century) only 13 years ago..."
Sober tasting
C.B.: "Okay legs, chlorine nose."
P.J.: "YMCA pool."
C.B.: "Better than it tastes."
P.J.: "Huh?"
C.B.: "Daring to be really bad, but not quite managing."
Drunk tasting
P.J.: "Fruity smell."
C.B.: "If fruit were a medicine."
P.J.: "Drinkable."
C.B.: "Acceptable, complex. Ariel or Livingston Cellar."
P.J.: (who had just been to Spain where he swilled Rioja and was thus cheating) "Codice."
Conclusion: C.B.'s mistaking Codice for Ariel dealcoholized wine--a subconscious plea for the 12-Step Program?
Haha! A truly worthy read, if I say so myself.
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
UMBC's day before Thanksgiving policy is a joke. Since no one's gonna show up, most professors wisely choose to cancel classes and give students a much-needed break before finals. Note that I said "most." You see, since there is no official UMBC policy, a few teachers don't realize that they're "supposed" to give everyone the day off, and in fact feel obligated to "do their job." (Actual quote from my math instructor.) So in the end, we poor saps who live off campus and don't want to miss out on anything in class have to come in for the one class that's not canceled. Which is what I plan to do tomorrow, assuming the looming snow doesn't call things off.
Do I have your pity now? Good.
24: 12:00am-1:00pm
A rather understated episode; not bad certainly, but not a standout. Note to Kim(-bo): Loose lips sink ships! Shut up about the nuke, bigmouth. Normally, I can tolerate her, but tonight she just went too far. It was kind of obvious that she would yap about it to her b/f (?) Miguel. In fact, the whole episode was rather telegraphed: setting things up and watching how they unfold. Oh well, they can't all be perfect. Still, it was a lot better than even many of last year's episodes, and that's saying something about the quality of this year's fare in general: an improvement upon excellence.
Monday, November 25, 2002
I had a big Shakespeare midterm today. Yes, it's later November, and I said "midterm." :-| As in, exactly three weeks before the final. Mmmmhhmmmm.
I knew people would be asking me, "Steve, do you think you're ready for the midterm?" My witty response?
All things are ready, if our minds be so.
Henry V: IV.iii
Hope London's fun, professor! Say hi to Kenneth Branaugh for me.
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
Sexy Femme’s Flaws Cause Injury But Not Fatality
Steve Wiley
Retriever Weekly Staff Writer
Director Brian De Palma clearly wants you to know that he’s been studying film for quite a long time. As evidence of this, he presents the audience with his latest dissertation on the cinema, Femme Fatale (*** out of four). While many of his films have owed a great debt to the "master of suspense," Alfred Hitchcock, this one also tackles material covered in recent brain benders like Mulholland Drive, some of De Palma’s own work, such as Sisters, and, well, the TV show Dallas, of all things. But I’ve already said too much...
OK, so that's not the greatest headline I've ever read. Truthfully, I didn't write it; the one I wrote was too short I suppose to fit the page. Whatever.
And if you've read the print version, please disregard the photo caption, which I had absolutely nothing to do with, and for whatever reason, doesn't seem to jive with the review. But I really can't complain about anything.
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
Can't think of an outstanding quote from tonight's 24. Somebody set us up the bomb. I guess that would be more appropriate for last week's, but what the hay.
I'm so irresponsible; I almost burned out my car's battery by leaving the internal light on. Oops. And I'm going to be spending another long night here at the ol' PC 'cause I'm too busy/lazy to do my homework on time. Grr...
Winter break: so close, yet so far away!
I got a new article/review up, but I don't feel like commenting on it now... I have some *ahem...* "issues" with something in the print version. But I'm too busy to care. You know what they say: business breeds apathy.
Or maybe they don't say that and I'm just making it up.
Monday, November 18, 2002
Updates have been late lately, so I thought I'd share something for the amusement of those .00005% of you gringos who know how to speak Spanish.
Steven Wiley
Reseña de "Frida," publicada originalmente en The Retriever Weekly, 12 de Nov., 2002
[Traducida por el autor.]
De todas las historias fascinadoras de la primera mitad del vigésimo siglo, el viaje personal de Frida Kahlo está entre los más intrigantes. La estrella y el productor Salma Hayek ha realizado un de siempre ideal para filmar la vida agitada de Kahlo, dando por resultado una biografía absorbente con bastante don directoral para no sólo guardar el interés del espectador, sino también para dar contexto a las obras de arte que le hicieron artista única. Aunque que no es una película particularmente innovadora, como un biopic Frida (* * * de cuatro) funciona muy bien en revelar la trayectoria que el carácter del título tomó en su vida demasiado breve. A menudo, sin embargo, su trayectoria fue elegida para ella, comenzando con una herida debilitante que ella sufrió como una joven en 1922. ...
Haz click aquí para el resto de la reseña.
When I run out of material, I do what the profesionals do: reuse, recycle!
Friday, November 15, 2002
Quick, somebody please trademark "weapons of mass destruction." This phrase is getting thrown around like it's going out of style.
Really people, this was a redundant cliche before it first saw the light of day. And that's a rhyme, so thank you very much.
Weapons of Mass Destruction™ is a registered trademark of SWiley's Blog (How Original!) and may not be used by anyone else under any circumstance, ever. ;-P
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Your "Holy craparoni!" pic of the day:
Sigh...
OK, I promise I won't do this ever again...
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Thought I'd post some thoughts re tonight's 24:
...Still smarting from a pretty devastating episode. If you saw it, you'd know what I'm talking about.
Megan: "Where are we?" Kim: "Don't worry about it; we're safe here."
Too bad about Mason. Here's hoping the poor guy gets superpowers or something from that nasty radiation exposure, before he keels over, that is.
Overall a quite excellent episode. I feel the writers are having a little trouble keeping all the storylines pumping simultaneously. The family wedding wasn't part of the show for the first half hour, and most of the Kim/Megan stuff was so weak it wasn't even worth having at all. It must be so challenging trying to keep these things lined up. I remember reading that the whole "Teri's amnesia" incident from last year was devised just because they wanted to keep her out of the way for a few episodes. Tonight's hour 3 had a bit of that fractured sensibility; the terrorist plotting stuff is so good I guess you have to excuse the somewhat feeble peripheral errata for now. There's even better stuff ahead, I can sense it.
Latest TRW Critique:
Frida Shows A Woman’s Journey
Steve Wiley
Retriever Weekly Staff Writer
Of all the fascinating stories from the first half of the twentieth century, Frida Kahlo’s personal journey is among the most intriguing. Star and producer Salma Hayek has realized a life-long dream to film Kahlo’s eventful life, resulting in an absorbing biography with just enough directorial flair not only to keep the viewer’s interest, but also to give context to the works of art that made her a unique artist. While not a particularly innovative motion picture, as a biopic Frida (*** out of four) works quite well in revealing the path the title character took in her all-too-brief life. Often, however, her path was chosen for her, beginning with a debilitating injury she suffered as a young woman in 1922. ...
Hmm... those "*** out of four" are printed as "HHH out of four" on TRW's site. Eh, no big deal. Enjoy!
MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS!
...but it can buy things that result in happiness, eh? ;-)
Surprising everyone, I'm sure, I bought Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring- Platinum Series Extended Edition.
(I find it quite funny how people try to recommend one of these DVDs instead of the other, on Amazon.com. How lame and pitiful.)
Oh yes, and 24's on tonight, in case you had forgotten. They should have a 'street team' (with me as leader.)
So........Even though the current *situation* has not yet been resolved, I'm a happy (if slightly light in the wallet) geek.
Monday, November 11, 2002
I'm *really* itching to mention something from school today, but I'd better not. I mean, it would really be terrible if the professor about whom I'm thinking would somehow find this site and see what I've written about him (or her, of course). It's too bad... really juicy story, too. Sad, tragic, and hilarious. C'est la vie at UMBC!
To ease your pain from not getting this intriguing story (just yet...) ever so slightly, here's something that should cheer you up:
...But what happens when the Japanese try to make a TV show based on a beloved American superhero? Remember all the griping about the fact that Americans didn't show the proper respect for a Japanese icon? Well, maybe we can claim that it was just revenge for the bizarre spectacle that was Toei's 1978 TV series based on Spider-Man. (We'll be using the Japanese phonic spelling, Supaidaaman, interchangeably with the more familiar American spelling of Spider-Man, so just swing with it.)...
More reason that I'm movin' to Japan ASAP. Who needs Willem Dafoe when you've got this guy as a villain?
And be sure to remind me to write about this incident that I'm ever-so-cautiously avoiding at the end of the semester, OK?
Well, better make it by Jan. 2, when all grades have been posted. :-D
Wow, I'm on a roll and nothing's gonna stop me...
LOL
Tanya Grotter: a Harry Potter Parody?
Mon Nov 11,12:44 PM ET
By Oliver Bullough
MOSCOW (Reuters) - They have so much in common: both are orphans, have strange marks on their faces, wield magical powers and battle an enemy too terrible to be named.
But uncannily parallel lives have not made Harry Potter (news - web sites) and Russian literary sensation Tanya Grotter friends -- far from it. Potter's publishers say Grotter's creator, Dmitry Yemets, is copying the British wizard and are considering legal action...
I'm all for the freedom to parody something. The question is, does Tanya Grotter actually lampoon HP in any way, shape, or form? I don't think it does, not that I've read TG, or any of the Harry Pothead... er... Potter books.
Duplication does not equal satirization.
Just a second ago, while I was checking out the Yahoo! weather page to see if I could easily steal their pretty little weather table (I couldn't... waaaa!!! sob!... I have no h@x0r skizzils!), I discovered the following line of code embedded within the html source:
<!-- 22 isn't yahoo a great company to work for? -->
Hmmm... suspicious. This is quite odd, I thought to myself. Maybe this "comment" is some kind of message hidden by a disgruntled, obviously sarcastic Yahoo! employee...? I really don't have the answer.
Just thought it was fairly amusing. And I love catching people in the act, so to speak.
Hey folks, hope the weekend was nice while it lasted. Here in MD, you can really tell that winter's right around the corner ;-)...
from Yahoo! weather:
Baltimore, MD:
High: 75
Low: 50
Not that I'm complaining or anything...
It's supposed to get colder starting tomorrow.
“Everybody talks about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it.”
-- Mark Twain
Thursday, November 07, 2002
NO TIME TO LOSE
As mentioned just the other day, this week's TRW article concerns my fave TV show (which I've certainly hyped enough the last week or so), 24.
So, here it is. Enjoy.
24 Hours of Adrenaline
Steve Wiley
Retriever Weekly Staff WriterA new day has dawned for Jack Bauer. More than a year has passed since we last saw the troubled hero, and time has not been kind to the ex-federal agent. For one thing, he has yet to come to grips with the death of his wife Teri, murdered by the traitorous Nina (a.k.a. Elena), a woman whom he had trusted. Jack’s sense of isolation and grief is only compounded by his daughter Kim’s decision to work as a live-in nanny, close to the Bauer home, but still so far away. Jack’s life has deteriorated immeasurably, as perceptible through his gait and his relatively disheveled appearance, and now this bitter, broken man is being asked to help save Los Angeles from a terrorist nuclear threat. ...
Dramatically retrieving his car keys. Gotta love it.
In case you're wondering, no, I haven't received my kickback check from Rupert Murdoch just yet. Thanks for askin'!
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
Oh how sweet was this week's episode. You know what show I'm talking about.
I was a bit scared the show was going a bit soft, but the butt-kicking Bauers showed me the error of my ways.
And the conclusion:
"We're going to turn a government building [CTU HQ] into a cemetery." Chilling, indeed.
The Bauer Power Hour. Watch it.
Waaahhh!
My latest article for TRW isn't up yet... In the mean time, I gotta check out episode two (9-10 a.m.) of 24! (Which happens to be the subject of said article- I think I should be on FOX's payroll or something.)
So, until next time, this is your friendly host saying, "ummm... I dunno. Can't think of anything clever right now..."
ELECTION DAY
So, yeah. I voted. Woo-hoo. It was my first time (and it didn't hurt as much as they said it would!)
A certain Baltimorean journalist has already spoken what needs to be said:
"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies
to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to
rule--and both commonly succeed, and are right."
- H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)
Brilliant minds (and smartasses) tend to think alike.
Saturday, November 02, 2002
Things are heating up, but unfortunately I'm not talking about the temperature.
I know you all don't have time for my ambiguous ramblings, so here's my latest goodie for your reading pleasure:
Two Retellings of Henry VThe immediate impression of Olivier's 1946 adaptation of Henry V is that it is very brash and quite cheerful in its "warlike" pageantry. The Technicolor production is so grand and bright, the characterizations so epic and sweeping; there is little doubt that this film was conceived to lift the English spirits, to show greatness and heroism to a war-weary people. Aside from the camp scenes at night, there are hardly any shadows in the film, whereas in Branagh's adaptation there scarcely exists a shot without them. There is great levity and irreverence in the presentation of the globe theater and its inhabitants in the early scenes. On the other hand, nearly every scene of the 1989 movie is simply drenched in dignity and self-importance, with somber hues all about. In the performances, the Branagh version is definitely more in tune with modern perceptions of realism: the emotions just seem more sincere and less "actor-ish." ...
There's more good stuff there. The reason I wrote this (no, 'twasn't just for fun) was that I thought there was a writing assignment to go along with our viewings of the two adaptations. There wasn't so I thought I'd get some use out of it at least.
It's normally my policy not to put my school papers on here for two reasons: (1) They're usually quite boring [not that this one isn't]. And (2), I'd rather not make 'private' school matters a part of my 'public' life on here. It's just a bit weird, I think, not to mention the fact that people in my own classes could possibly rip me off somehow should they find this site and steal my work. But I guess I've just gone and allowed that very thing to occur if there are any lazy high-schoolers who are diggin' around for a HV-themed paper. Well now you've got one.
Be sure to attribute me in your bibliography, or I'll sue your sorry @$$! ;-)
(Here's how:)
Wiley, Steven. "Two Retellings of Henry V." 28 Oct. 2002. http://userpages.umbc.edu/~swiley1/blog/HVmovies.htm
Oh yes, by the way, since I wrote the composition as a Word document, you might still find those annoying < tags > MSWord loves to infect the net with. You got a problem with that??? Then buy me a copy of Dreamweaver or something, and then I promise it won't happen again.
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